Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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