I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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