i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
