i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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