I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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