"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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