I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
