: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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