Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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