WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize