in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
