I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
