a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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