I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
