Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Terrible idea I love it
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
