i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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