We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
