well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
