Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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