Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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