OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
