I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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