She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
