Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
