How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
