he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
