why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
