Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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