I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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