that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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