Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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