What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
