I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
