420 ftw
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
