dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
