just come out here and I will go home with you...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
