The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize