I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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