i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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