Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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