so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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