thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
