Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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