We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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