Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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