Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You're my little dorito
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
