I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
