i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Someone came in the potted fern
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
