Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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