No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Randomize
