You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
