I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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