Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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