I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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