dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
