the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
