Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
