I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
