she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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