So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
