I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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