I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
