plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
When did we convert life to cartoon?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
